welcome.
hey there. you can put whatever you want here. maybe a disclaimer, a special shoutout, anything, it's up to you.
oh but do note that you can't navigate back here once you navigate away so don't put anything important here.
other than that, go crazy. cheers.
♥ DancingSheep
6:52 PM
Thursday, April 29, 2010
getting it is one thing. making sure it goes all the way through is another. you cant apply to this course coz you're an international student and the course is funded by the NHS? o.O i dont get it. then why the webpage puts international students are welcome? lol? sigh i need more advice on applications. and everyone's in army, i only book out on weekends. how the shit am i supposed to get more information... hopefully unit life would entail more freedom. hopefully.
10:17 AM
Saturday, April 24, 2010
7:27 AM
Sunday, April 18, 2010
time to go back in tomorrow. time to get readjusted.
see some old faces, some of which i rather not see. hoping the new faces would be much better. hope to be able to catch the concerts still. hopefully. sigh.
should sleep now.
someone help me.
do i sound disillusioned in any way to you?
epiphany of the day: just how many true friends do you have? i think i've close to 0
4:57 AM
Saturday, April 17, 2010
i dont know whether to call it an epiphany or what not. the word i'm trying to find is continually eluding me.
today i was talking to some of my frens and again we came across the topic of ns. after all what is there to do when you're a guy and you're 18.. so came across the topic of ocs and what not and i found myself saying, in a nutshell, the following:
i've been out of service for 3weeks plus due to an operation, seems like the wound is healing well but still itchy if i walk to long or sweat. after all it's an open wound. and i've got a letter recommended by the doctor to let me hav mc for another period of time till the wound fully heals. here's the thing, because i missed certain events due to hospitalization and the operation, naturally i did not get posted to command school. and of course i can blame no one. the mindset that i have on right now is whether i should just do the bare minimum since im no longer en route to becoming a sergeant or an officer or should I just continue to do my best in my vocation. certainly taking mc for another period of time seems very very tempting, and there's no doubt about it. but what's been bugging me is that i've never had this mindset before.
i'm being bugged by the fact that i hardly used to just think of slacking off everything. otherwise i would have quit band in sec 1 lol. to me now, it's as if just because im not in a position of power, i should slack because i dont like to be in the middle of nowhere. i attribute it to being disillusioned during bmt. where many people cant tell the very fine but stark difference between being resilient, having a fighting spirit and knowing how to listen to your own body. the first day was marked with safety and every event we did had safety as first priority. yet just because a lot of people report sick for the same reason does not equate to everyone being a slacker. and i know this because i trust in my friends to not lie about their condition, yet those who were supposed to command us could not tell real cases and fake cases apart. and even if it was hard to tell us apart, there surely could be a benefit of doubt given since this jolly well concerns a person's future health and well being. i attribute this whole experience i had to make me reconsider whether i should still do my best for people who dont even bother to differentiate "chaokeng" and real cases. partly i must admit that i want to slack of just because im not in that position of power. im not refuting anything on that. i know of myself to be the type who would do better if placed in a position of power. it just feels like you can do something about it and in the army context, all the more true it is. a private's word against a lieutenant. who wins?
if you've read thru that incoherent junk on top, thanks. and i just hope u dont think im some power hungry bastard. i just want to relook at the way im thinking and see if it's justified. should i give my all now?
8:06 AM
Friday, April 16, 2010
some people are just so fucked up. period. your personal life is 1000x more fucked up than mine and you want to comment on mine. hope you die during training you fucker.
7:39 AM
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
been watching movies day in and out. haha trying to watch all the ones that are heart warming. (:
definitely.maybe (Y) i give it a 4/5 (: superbly heart warming tho the start was a bit awkward... nvr heard a 9-10 yr old girl say like such stuff o.O
but here's an excerpt.. (:
Will Hayes: Will you... um... marry me?
April: No. What do you mean, 'Will you, um, marry me?' I haven't seen you in weeks! You don't look happy or excited about the prospect of our marriage! You're asking me to give up my - my freedom, my joie de vivre for an institution that fails as often as it succeeds? And why should I marry you anyway? I mean, why do you wanna marry me? Besides some bourgeois desire to fulfill an ideal that society embeds in us from an early age to promote a consumer capitalist agenda?
Will Hayes: Oh! Oh, my God.
April: You should've got on your knee.
Will Hayes: Just shut up! Here - I wanna marry you because you're the first person I wanna look at when I wake up in the morning, and the only one I wanna kiss goodnight. Because the first time that I saw these hands, I couldn't imagine not being able to hold them. But mainly, when you love someone as much as I love you, getting married is the only thing left to do. So, will you, um, marry me?
April: Definitely. Maybe.
the joie de vivre part is kinda amusing.. haha the underlined part is my personal fave line (:
ppl who dint watch this should watch this (:
tmw will be on the bucket's list :D another heart warmer :D
9:04 PM
Monday, April 5, 2010
"You know, after Rachael left for college, there was a hole. I mean, you know, no more homework, no more Little League, recitals, school plays, kids crying, fights, skinned knees. And for the first time in 40 years, I looked at Virginia without all the noise, without all of the the distractions, and I couldn't remember what it felt like when I could not walk down the street without holding her hand... We'd lost something along the way" - The Bucket List.
5:38 AM
"I wish you would just show up on my doorstep. Not with anything special, just you. And when I’d open the door you’d smile and while I’m trying to figure out what the hell you’re doing here you’d tell me how hard the past months have been, how much you’ve thought about me, how much you regretted everything. And then you’d take me into your arms and ask me to forgive you and I would without hesitation. Then you’d grab my face and kiss me the way you used to and everything would be perfect again"
quoted.
4:47 AM
you dont know the consequences of your action until you've taken that step forward. there's not really a lot of things that can be initially classified into black and white is there? most of them fall into the grey area. and thereafter, the grey area turns into either white or black.
this year hasnt really started off on a right footing. but hoping that i'll get back on the right track soon enough. hoping that i'll get those things that i wished for. wasnt easy to get close. yet it still seems so far. hoping efforts will pay off. there's a lot of hope these days. but well, hope can only do so much. 2 things left and i hope they'll all go my way.
and if i could turn back the hands of time, i guess now i would have wanted it to go differently. but it still makes me glad to see everything going so well (:
ah. on a different note, i've gotten the whole jodi picoult set thus far. wanting the 7th Alex Rider series... but no $$ expensive sia the books. and jodi picoult isnt chick lit. >:(
bye world (: time to continue reading. and my, i'm treasuring my time these days. freedom never felt so good. (: