I always find out that some songs have meaningful lyrics after i decide to google the songs. coz usually i'll be more interested in the background music. and some song lyrics, can be quite thought provoking, or they just happen to fit the current context of ur life. it's like reading about your life through one of your favourite songs. and well, like how life works, it isnt always pleasant.

like the song lyrics below. we always only cherish the times we had, after we've been through it and we arent a part of it anymore. no matter how many times people ask and tell us to cherish the times we have when we're still together, there's just this something about human nature that wont ever be able to cherish it as much as when we're not together. weird isn't it.

the past 2 years, if i may do a reflection, really flew by. and i may accrue it to the bombastic amount of work and activities we have, because with so many activities, it becomes inevitable that our attention span would be shortened and the time we devote to our numerous activities would be significantly lesser.

i can still remember Sec 4. when after school every day would be band day. it was a routine to head to the band room after school. be it to practice or what not. and why i did so, was perhaps of the fact that the bandroom was a warm and cosy place to be in. it wasn't just a practice room. it was what it is. a band room. a place for the band. and without fail, there would always be people outside the room waiting for the door to be opened so that they can go in, either to chat or practice. and it's these kind of things that made me think that those days of scamming Mr J to open the bandroom even if there were only 4 people inside was worthwhile. and certainly i havent regretted it since and i doubt i would ever regret it.

but come JC. a cold place as dubbed by the previous generations. a concrete jungle with no taste of home or a school spirit. look out of the classroom and you'll find emptiness. go for cca and you'll see that people go for CCA for the sake of being there. sad to say, it was mostly true. but that's not the worst part of JC life. the worst part is when sometimes, you can seem close to people during the course of the event, but after that, it is as if you've never met each other in life. previously, when conversations were funny and engaging, now seems as if we're scrambling for words to string together and form a sentence. it's this sudden change in attitudes that got me wondering, whatever happened to the bonds formed in the last 2 years? surely it cant be lost in one or two months, and certainly not when we still see each other around in school. but words have cut down, and sometimes, it seems as if i am talking to a whole new person.

yes, the distancing is inevitable. but surely not at such an accelerated pace? my perspective was that the distancing was exponential, slowly growing now, but after graduation, the slope becomes steep. now it seems as if everything has been translated forward. what was once a slow gentle gradient has been transformed into a near vertical slope. and with every day that passes, the distance grows exponentially.

uniformed school life is coming to an end soon. there are things that i'll miss. there are things that i wont miss. and sad to say, there are things that i thought i would miss, but after certain events, i wont miss them.

still. the song that somehow, i feel describes my life quite aptly

Artist: Dream Theater
Album: Black Clouds and Silver Linings
Title: The Best of Times

Remember days of yesterday
How it flew so fast
The two score and a year we had,
I thought it would always last
Those summer days and west coast dreams
I wished would never end
A young boy and his father,
Idol and best friend

I'll always remember
Those were the best of times
A lifetime together
I'll never forget

The morning shows on the radio
The case of the missing dog
Lying on the pillows at the old 812
Watching Harold and Maude
The record shops, the stickball fields
My home away from home
And when we weren't together
The hours on the phone

I'll always remember
Those were the best of times
I'll cherish them forever
The best of times

But then came the call
Our lives changed forever more
"You can pray for a change
But prepare for the end..."

The fleeting winds of time
Flying through each day
All the things I should've done
But time just slipped away
Remember seize the day
Life goes by in the blink of an eye
With so much left to say

These were the best of times
I'll miss these days
Your spirit lit my life each day

Thank you for the inspiration
Thank you for the smiles
All the unconditional love
That carried me for miles
It carried me for miles
But most of all thank you for my life

These were the best of times
I'll miss these days
Your spirit lit my life each day
My heart is bleeding bad
But I'll be OK
Your spirit guides my life each day

[In Loving Memory of Howard Portnoy 1940-2009]