hey there. you can put whatever you want here. maybe a disclaimer, a special shoutout, anything, it's up to you.
oh but do note that you can't navigate back here once you navigate away so don't put anything important here.
other than that, go crazy. cheers.
♥ DancingSheep
three cheers for me.
40SAR. Minion of the state. ORD 03122011 (:
Australia 2012.
mneo
7:37 AM
Sunday, August 30, 2009
just a few days more.
school's already over, well not officially, but yeah the feeling's there. term 3 for J2's is also almost officially over, after all, friday is the only day that is *prelims free*. 2 years have just flown by so fast. i cant say RJ has been a cold place like what most seniors said. true, it may not be as warm as i would have liked it to be, but it still gives that sunken feeling that school is almost officially over. nxt year would be ns, books just disappear, abruptly. there's not even a phase for u to like slowly pull out. after 12 years of education, school is like a drug that u just cant stop using. the withdrawal symptoms are just way too great.
way too great.
today, while taking a break from studying, i just thought, why is it that the *mugging* madness seemed to just pull everything out of life. my days are now literally studying my ass off. it's just such a stark contrast. no after school lolling around sessions or just sitting in the canteen for 15mins to have a chit chat. i'm real grateful to talk to people once in a while or i'll just lose my sanity over studying.
then i thought back over the recent years in my life and was going through certain events. events that would always have that vivid imagery in my head. the tears, the late nights up doing all sorts of things. the civil wars (no prizes for guessing), the 2hr long chit chat sessions where the topic ranged from the prettiest girls in school to discussing social issues. i just wondered, after looking around me, why all these fun was suddenly zapped out of life.
and i still cant find the answer.
after 2 years, i dun really miss a lot of things, but the things that i miss, i really do miss.
i miss wed and saturdays. i miss holding something which i had infused part of myself into i miss that adrenaline rush. that rush of blood to the head. i miss turning right and left to talk, sometimes to be met with a cool response. i miss those friday afternoons. i miss that i'm-going-to-be-strangled uniform i miss the times where we were higher than 7th heaven and we were at the top of the eight. i miss... you you you you but you probably wont guess who.
back to prelims. . . .
7:22 AM
Friday, August 28, 2009
Sorry for all the times that he lied And left your heart hangin' I can't imagine what that feels like
But that was another place And that was another time It's not fair to blame me for all his crimes
Just for a minute give me a chance Let me inside just for a minute Baby just for a moment Let me prove I'll do things right
Let down your guard And show me your colours Don't fight it anymore Show me you're with me Open your arms I'm not like the others So don't fight it anymore no What will it take for me to make you see I'm not your enemy
Funny on the day that he left I wasn't even there It's become my nightmare
But I'll never rest till you give your all I'll take nothing less till I hear happily ever after The end
How do you expect things to get any better If you keep me on the sideline Don't you know there's a million things I wanna do But you gotta meet me halfway you gotta try
What will it take to make you see I'm not your enemy.
I'm no one's enemy i hope.
5:40 AM
Sunday, August 23, 2009
my life's a facade.
no wait. everything around me is a facade.
life rocks this way =)
1:49 AM
found this while taking a break from micro econs :D
it's nice =) and i just wonder how mine would look like 50 years down the road. haha no wars. no wooden toy horse. just doesnt look very sentimental at this current point in time. everything's so technological. so advanced. it's hard enough trying to find time to do things you like, let alone do things that you will keep in ur heart for years to come.
and the anticlimatic part is, after watching the video, i realize i got chem tests and math revision to do by tmw. oh well.
still? enjoy =)
someone learn the piece and play it for me pls! :D
9:02 AM
Thursday, August 20, 2009
I always find out that some songs have meaningful lyrics after i decide to google the songs. coz usually i'll be more interested in the background music. and some song lyrics, can be quite thought provoking, or they just happen to fit the current context of ur life. it's like reading about your life through one of your favourite songs. and well, like how life works, it isnt always pleasant.
like the song lyrics below. we always only cherish the times we had, after we've been through it and we arent a part of it anymore. no matter how many times people ask and tell us to cherish the times we have when we're still together, there's just this something about human nature that wont ever be able to cherish it as much as when we're not together. weird isn't it.
the past 2 years, if i may do a reflection, really flew by. and i may accrue it to the bombastic amount of work and activities we have, because with so many activities, it becomes inevitable that our attention span would be shortened and the time we devote to our numerous activities would be significantly lesser.
i can still remember Sec 4. when after school every day would be band day. it was a routine to head to the band room after school. be it to practice or what not. and why i did so, was perhaps of the fact that the bandroom was a warm and cosy place to be in. it wasn't just a practice room. it was what it is. a band room. a place for the band. and without fail, there would always be people outside the room waiting for the door to be opened so that they can go in, either to chat or practice. and it's these kind of things that made me think that those days of scamming Mr J to open the bandroom even if there were only 4 people inside was worthwhile. and certainly i havent regretted it since and i doubt i would ever regret it.
but come JC. a cold place as dubbed by the previous generations. a concrete jungle with no taste of home or a school spirit. look out of the classroom and you'll find emptiness. go for cca and you'll see that people go for CCA for the sake of being there. sad to say, it was mostly true. but that's not the worst part of JC life. the worst part is when sometimes, you can seem close to people during the course of the event, but after that, it is as if you've never met each other in life. previously, when conversations were funny and engaging, now seems as if we're scrambling for words to string together and form a sentence. it's this sudden change in attitudes that got me wondering, whatever happened to the bonds formed in the last 2 years? surely it cant be lost in one or two months, and certainly not when we still see each other around in school. but words have cut down, and sometimes, it seems as if i am talking to a whole new person.
yes, the distancing is inevitable. but surely not at such an accelerated pace? my perspective was that the distancing was exponential, slowly growing now, but after graduation, the slope becomes steep. now it seems as if everything has been translated forward. what was once a slow gentle gradient has been transformed into a near vertical slope. and with every day that passes, the distance grows exponentially.
uniformed school life is coming to an end soon. there are things that i'll miss. there are things that i wont miss. and sad to say, there are things that i thought i would miss, but after certain events, i wont miss them.
still. the song that somehow, i feel describes my life quite aptly
Artist: Dream Theater Album: Black Clouds and Silver Linings Title: The Best of Times
Remember days of yesterday How it flew so fast The two score and a year we had, I thought it would always last Those summer days and west coast dreams I wished would never end A young boy and his father, Idol and best friend
I'll always remember Those were the best of times A lifetime together I'll never forget
The morning shows on the radio The case of the missing dog Lying on the pillows at the old 812 Watching Harold and Maude The record shops, the stickball fields My home away from home And when we weren't together The hours on the phone
I'll always remember Those were the best of times I'll cherish them forever The best of times
But then came the call Our lives changed forever more "You can pray for a change But prepare for the end..."
The fleeting winds of time Flying through each day All the things I should've done But time just slipped away Remember seize the day Life goes by in the blink of an eye With so much left to say
These were the best of times I'll miss these days Your spirit lit my life each day
Thank you for the inspiration Thank you for the smiles All the unconditional love That carried me for miles It carried me for miles But most of all thank you for my life
These were the best of times I'll miss these days Your spirit lit my life each day My heart is bleeding bad But I'll be OK Your spirit guides my life each day
[In Loving Memory of Howard Portnoy 1940-2009]
1:35 AM
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
study. study. study.
but still u can never just fully concentrate on studies in life can you? things are bound to bother you. somehow.
mixed feelings for the first time in a very long while today. honestly i dunno why i felt the way i felt. because firstly it is not a directly personal matter and secondly, i should have some respect. but still. maybe its because i'm slightly biased. sometimes wont you want to see the people u like excel?
but okay i shall rationalize that due respect ought to be given. and disappointment ought to be accepted. its just that oh well, there are certain things that would break even the hardest of hearts.
all the best!
on another note. well if that's the way some people want it to be. then let it be like that la. after all, i doubt i ever did anything wrong in their lives and even if i did, i would have sincerely apologized for it already. so if they want to continue like that. so be it.
drifting is after all, inevitable. it just depends on how fast it is. well, now i know that for some people, it's just faster than others. but i guess, that just shows the level of significance u hold to me.
9:35 AM
Friday, August 7, 2009
why the sudden coldness? its overbearing, yet i cant think of a reason why. first thought that came to mind was myself, but i see no wrong in what i did, then i turned to recent events and i could still find no clue as to the sudden change in attitude.
maybe it was something i did that i did not know. it beats me. but i can say for sure that as far as i can recall, i never did anything that i would have seen as a wrongdoing on my part. i'm just not used to it. bubbly one second and the next? it's like having a door suddenly slam shut in your face.
drifting apart i told myself, is inevitable. but shouldnt it happen gradually instead of suddenly? it's like considering someone your best friend and surely you'll expect more then just a sudden silent goodbye.
perhaps, i should just focus on things closer to home.
so much for emotional attachment. now i know it's but just lies and those whom i hold close are easily swayed by the words of others or rumours.
yet i seek to find the truth which will prove me wrong and things will once again return to normal. maybe it's good that it happens now. then attention can be diverted away to a more productive cause.
its time perhaps, to just stick to your own values and screw the rest of the world dude. i have no need to conform to this current shitty society.
95 more days. and then i'll be gone for good, if that's what you're wishing for.