hey there. you can put whatever you want here. maybe a disclaimer, a special shoutout, anything, it's up to you.
oh but do note that you can't navigate back here once you navigate away so don't put anything important here.
other than that, go crazy. cheers.
♥ DancingSheep
three cheers for me.
40SAR. Minion of the state. ORD 03122011 (:
Australia 2012.
mneo
7:53 AM
Sunday, June 29, 2008
i sense sth brewing in me this few days
want to say it here
but then again i cant
coz i don't know how to put it.
i shld really stop this facade of acting happy when im not.
u know, when all ur frens tell u they'll be there for you. it's a harder choice to make
who shld u tell?
who can you approach?
there's a few, so few its less then 5.
and out of those <5, theres like <3 whom are ALWAYS there.
well now the tough part is
who out of the <3?
a b or c?
i'm still trying to figure that out. for telling one might hurt the other 2.
there's one reason why i go out at night alone.
going out at night to me is just to let go of all the things u have on ur mind, i mean those that bothers u, frustrates u and what not.
i went out a few nights in a row, well those things just seem to be neverending i guess.
perhaps i've been to naive, to me the only reason why i'm a *nice* guy to certain people is because i have a high tolerance level. of course if someone talks to u, and u decide to brush them off, you wont exactly be a nice guy right?
i've really wanted to say some things to some people some times, too bad society doesnt allow me to say it, coz the consequences are dire. maybe i should really try u know, see how bad it can get. i mean what's the worst?
i dunno, i've just not been myself these few days, but then again, what is myself? who do i want to show myself as?
who can i trust 100%?
tmw will be a better day or so.
8:50 AM
Friday, June 27, 2008
ah so many things happened today =)
no comments on ct's, studied the most i can alr, what's next is just well up to fate. =)
now thou fallingggg sick. ah ha, gg. tmw got band xD
okay im too tired to say anything alr, but here's a few words to sum it all up.
10 promises to my dog --> really teared, but didnt drop down coz i wiped my tears away hee.
daytonaaa--> we own the rest =) haha high five =)
psp--> free game
and u =) for accompanying me =)
if you're lost you can look and you will find me time after time.
always <3!
for you =)))))
7:36 AM
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
ah shld i be happy that another CT is over.
a ct which i had hope for.
no time to finish, tho the qns all can be answered. sighz.
but.
tmw is chem. woots
how? =)
Gambatte Ikimashou!
for you =) for being there always!
8:42 AM
Saturday, June 21, 2008
i don't know if i'm slow or what but i just came to the sudden realisation that JC life will be so hectic that it'll pass by sooo quickly before u know it. i mean yeah the teachers have been telling us all abt it but nvr took it seriously, looking at how i spent my first june hols, i think it's like a premonition that for the next 1 1/2 yrs, life's going to be like that. mugging and mugging.
but to me again, that's just a stereotype, for i would want my JC life to be fun filled and as fun as if not more fun then the time i had in RI. i don't want these 2 yrs to just go away like that. like poof and HELLO NS. tts not the JC life i want and im certainly not going to let it be like that
it's my life and i'll do it the way i want it to be =) and u know what, it's all in one word. Fun.
okay tmw finishing up econs and going to stone in the hall on mon but den again, econs is one sub i dun get it, nevertheless i'll try my best, hopefully i dun stone too long. essay seems like a looming eptiome of disaster xD
to all out there who mugged their brains out. goodluck!
and for you who worked so hard =) <3!
7:38 AM
Friday, June 20, 2008
life. well, loads of things inside it.
it's just like a path, where there is always more then one road. from the moment we're born to the moment we die, we always have to decide where to turn, which way to turn, and most of all, whether to turn back or not.
there's always different paths to take, always. sometimes we think that the decision make is hard but what we don't know is that there are always guidelines which we can follow. there's always people whom we can fall back on for good advice. there's always those people. your parents. your closest frens.
and while sometimes advice might not be all that pleasing, it is up to us to decipher the good intentions behind the advice. those who blow up at the slightest advice given are those who are doomed to failure in this world. medicine which cures the best are never pleasing. but to take it down and listen to it will make u a lot of a better person.
i learnt some stuff today. and i learnt how to deal with it too =)
it made me a lot of a better person, now i know that im going down the right path =)
i hope it made u one too =)
<3333!
For you! real special =)
6:33 AM
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
oh great
phone lost.
mom scolds
dad's quiet.
tt's weird.
but one thing's for sure. do they realise that we actually feel damn bad when we lose our phone. i noe my phone isnt cheap, and it is very new. but okay they got a point, yes losing stuff isnt good. it shows on ur ability to actually know where u put ur stuff, but i chked arnd before i left the bus, coz i had things in my pants so i didnt feel the weight change. i only realised when the familiar shape of the phone wasnt in my pants. i mean honestly, who won't feel bad when the lose a phone, unless its some super rich person who can get a replacement in a blink of an eye. otherwise i believe that people actually do have feelings.
parents always say money is hard to earn. yes we know that money is hard to earn. we try to save as well. 3/4 of the stuff i have isnt bought by my parents, i always try to get them from my aunt. oh trust me, the 1/4 that i never lose is always bought by my parents. kids appreciate what their parents buy for them, okay i do. which is why the only thing which i havent lost till now is my MP3 which my mom bought for me more then 2yrs ago abt sec 3 i believe.
u noe why? because there's a difference between the kids having a gift from others and a gift from ur own parents. its like your parents actually going to buy sth from u, even tho they might say its a little nothing. i treasure that mp3, the only thing wrong wif it was aft i dropped from my hand suddenly and it sorta lagged from then on -.- but other then that it's still the one thing without scratches at all.
i dun get it. what you see is that i lost my phone for the x^10000 time. what you see is that i never take care of my things. what you see is that i take things for granted.
but what u don't see is that i try my best not to drop my phone, tts the reason for the starhub thing behind my phone. what u don't see is that i never want to get oil on my phone and i use damp tissue to wipe my phone weekly.
i noe it's my fault that i lost the phone. i never said it wasnt. i just want you to know that i care for the stuff i have. i do check around. i do everything i can to make sure i dun lose stuff. i did everything i could to find my phone back. it was so much on my mind i couldnt study aft i realised my phone was missing. nth was absorbed at all. i had to put on an *i'm okay* face to others. so that they would not worry that much.
when you lose things, do u ever say anything? of course not. it's your own money, tts why u can just lose it and no one can reprimand u. but us? do we look as if we want to lose it? it's not my money. i own nothing in this world yet. the only things i ever own is 2 trophies, a stack of certificates and perhaps about $50 which i earned myself.
but okay i guess there's a bright side to this, perhaps it's a good thing to not sms anymore or call anymore. can save u $40 bucks in ur life =) yay
im done ranting. it's over. but i still miss my phone.
sighz.
but thanks really, for being there. :)
9:09 AM
Monday, June 16, 2008
it's good to have a long chat with ur best frens once in a while. you get to think back abt things, abt now and abt nxt time. and knowing it's ur best frens, u know that what u say will be safe. and u can trust them for honest opinions.
perhaps that's why out of the 427 contacts i have on msn and the 200+ ppl on my phone, i msn/sms less then 5% of them. and usually its the same people. it sometimes just makes u feel good that you have a group of people u can fall back on anytime. there'll of coz be the special ones which u'll happily just let them fall on u even if they hurt some parts of ur body.
you'll get what i mean. that is if you really know me well =)
but then again, do the people i think know me well, know me well?
i guess tt's up for me to find out =)
cheers!
for you =) for i love you just like that =)
6:43 AM
Sunday, June 15, 2008
im at a loss for words.
usually there's sth on my mind i would want to blog abt, or sth will just crop up when i blog, but i've been staring at this post creating page for 10mins now and there's nth that's cropping up.
what should i say?
do any of you have the feeling of being lost before? where it takes you like 5minutes to type a sentence?
perhaps im tired. but by right i should be happy today for understanding a math qn. but im not. in fact i dun feel sad or anything. im just in a emotionless state. and for those out there its not = emo.
well, where can i find back my emotions? someone tell me? coz i think its better to be emo den emotionless. emotions is one thing that defines a human.
ah but nvm i have nth to say now
=)
for you =) cheer up hugss!
8:28 AM
Saturday, June 14, 2008
wahahahahha
gone mad from math.
mathematics = (mat)^2(hectic)
okay nvm but yep tmw shall complete the exercise and do bio gawd so LONG DIDNT DO BIO ALR forget the stuff i learnt xD haha but oh wells need to still study ohoh
and i HAVENT STARTED ON ECONS xDDDDD
okay i'm outta time but will try my best as usual =) for those who put up with my impatience and daoness today thanks loads =) esp you hugs!
tmw is bio day =)
biobiobiobiobiobiobiology
for you =)
6:28 AM
Friday, June 13, 2008
well well well.
okay today to me was damnnnnn unproductive, besides for the fact that i finished inequalities, still not that good yet anw. i did 2 function qns -.-
kkkkkk cannot, must maintain a near optimum consistency in my work. i need to finish double bio tut by nxt week, more imptly complete ECONS mugging which i havent started AT ALL =))))) so there goes my nxt week! not to mention we got pw survey and interview to hand out.
plus i need to revise my work, haha the amount i forget is proportionate to the amount i studied =) so i tink i forgot abt 1/2 of bio and chem, k la math still can. =) that makes it 2 subjects uncovered! yay!
tmw shall do work and revise bio topics which i studied plus try my best to finish up another few topics. coz srsly, i'm outta time. tami lai just reminded me that bio is gay hard for the back few chapters =) who has omega 3 to gimme? plus erm some dihydroxyacetone plus some Vitamins, a few coenzymes and what not. man, is there sth that can really improve brain power -.-.-.-
cheers to all mugging!
for you =) coz you always try ur best =)
7:47 AM
Thursday, June 12, 2008
here's what i did today
2 topics of bio 3 topics of chem(revising) 1 1/2 topic of math
but you know what? i doubt i remember anything. really. brain gone mad over math, now its a total blank, im supposed to do research for pw but im like dead.
tmw finish up inequalities, chiong functions and what not okay la SCREW IT. TMW im going to FINISH MATH, AND DO BIO.
no time alr haha 1 wk to go, and with econs untouched, chem unfinished and bio less then half thru, im yay =) woohoo
tmw is real hardcore. really. like madness.
and i dunno why im talking in phrases. nvm sentences are never complete nowadays anw. someone says sth you'll have to figure out what it exactly meant. and time and time again, intentions are always always misinterpreted.
so it's 1 wk + to go, what will CT's have in store for me?
Be your very own miracle =)
for you =)
5:15 AM
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
well well, today was quiteee productive. did 1 topic of math 2 bio and my mind just blanked out. haha
but yeah today qualifies as one of the days where im in the mood to study, nvm shall sleep early tonite =) so tmw got energy for APGP and another 2 of Bio plus perhaps 1 chem? yeap need to constantly do. otherwise no use.
recently i've seen how bad or good people's day can be. i realized that even if you're having a good day, someone else might not be having a good day. it all depends. =) so i need to learn to be sensitive. i need to learn when not to say things and when to say certain things. also i need to learn never to vent my anger on someone who is just plainly showing care and concern =)
ah wells, with my brain saturated today, i guess its time for me to go and take a walk =) along orchard road. heh actually im just going to wait for my mom but waddaheck, im going to take my mind off things for that precious half an hour =) and i think we all should too =)
today's a good day =)
For you =) You don't know how lovely you are. =)
7:39 AM
Monday, June 9, 2008
I have sailed to many lands, now I make my final journey On the bow I stand, west is where I go Through the night I plough, still my heart, calculate and pray As the compass swings, my will is strong, I will not be led astray Mysteries of time clouds that hide the sun But I know, but I know, but I know
I steer between the crashing rocks, the sirens call my name Lash my hands onto the helm, blood surging with the strain I will not fail now as sunrise comes the darkness left behind For eternity I follow on there is no other way
I see the ghosts of navigators but they are lost As they sail into the sunset theyll count the cost As their skeletons accusing emerge from the sea The sirens of the rocks, they beckon me
Take my heart and set it free, carried forward by the waves Nowhere left to run, navigators son, Chasing rainbows all my days
Where I go I do not know, I only know the place Ive been Dreams they come and go, ever shall be so, Nothings real until you feel
Accumulation of fatigue and mental exhaustion is slowly creeping up to me. as i type i can feel it taking over my body. this is one foreign invader to your body that u love xD
pw today, sending out the mail tmw =) too tired today, really.
but you know what i enjoy abt this? the feeling of accomplishment after a long day of work =) i've always relished that feeling =) and i've learnt how to be a happier person nowadays, truly happy and not just a facade. =) dun be surprised if im not me. im just real happy =) dun ask me why. hah i also dunno xD
okay back to band, sleep by 1115 tonight xD
for youu =) tao ren xi huan =)
9:16 AM
Sunday, June 8, 2008
some things just popped in my head
1st time im bloggin twice in a day?
1st time i practiced qns in this mth of mugging
1st time i have so many things weighing on my mind
1st time im unsure on how to tackle the problems that i face
1st time i feel like lying down in the open with my hands behind my head and sorting out everything
1st time i feel a sense of mistrust coming from some people
1st time i try to make others perceive me as who i am but it failed.
1st time i see so much misinterpretation happening in front of my eyes
1st time i'm worried abt so many things at the same time
1st time im studying so much for an exam
1st time im not confident abt some of the things im doing
1st time i feel slightly pissed off this year abt certain things
1st time i feel i failed at being a leader
well, it's the night of firsts. and this won't be the only night.
its hard to make people perceive you as you are.
am i allowed to be who i am? can i show who i really am? do i know who i am?
some things are meant to be shown, others are not. if everyone can be who they are, well life won't be so complicated won't it?
and i bet 99% of whoever reads this will misinterpret at least 1 sentence.
so am i allowed to express what i think openly?
trying to be more open abt how i feel abt certain things. but i'm afraid of the consequences.
trying to make myself believe that im doing things right. but i'm afraid that i'm not in reality
sometimes i don't mean what i say, sometimes i don't say what i mean. but who can tell when i'm doing what?
i'm complicated.
6:55 AM
realised a few things today, but haha that's for me to know and for you to find out.
did math. one topic. induction and summation. getting better at it tho i still have 10001 stupid mistakes make. like wrong sign and wdv. sighz going to cost me marks.
anw i think i've finally achieved a balance. =)
well. i think i really need to concentrate more when doing things. getting slowly back to my muggerishness in pri sch. but still not enuf. nvm tmw i plan to mug at LEAST 1 bio and 1 math =) dun care even if im going out tmw. im still going to complete it.
for one thing i dun really expect much from this CT. coz it's the first time im actually studying, but then again, its precisely because it's the first time im studying this hard that i know there's a chance of me blanking out during the test. and its really a stark change for me. haha slacker to mugger. sighz tough life for me. but still i'll try my best =)
okay done with blogging time to read news =)
for you =) for improving at physics =)
5:48 AM
Saturday, June 7, 2008
you know, you don't need to be directly affected by things such that it becomes a cause for concern. so long as you have a string attached to that event or thing, you automatically become emotionally and physically attached to it.
well who says you cannot bear the weight of others upon your shoulders? in fact there are many who do so, the only reason being that they do not want to see those around them anything else but happy, and i really respect those who can do that and not complain the slightest bit. it just goes to show the amount of selflessness that they have in them. im not one of those, that's for sure. for i think i do complain a tad too much.
okay today is a mass ranting session abt me xD
haha don't know how to put it but i mean, i think sometimes (in fact most of the times) i don't really do what i say tho i tell people im more action oriented. well time to change that. also, i tend to be a bit too insensitive about people's feelings. yeah i will try to change myself, hopefully i can be a better person by the time term 3 ends.
for now i'll just take things as they come. life just got more interesting, exciting, worrying, sad, happy and everything.well you get what i mean =)
now for math =) till 11! haha ownage xD shall complete summation =)
for you =) for making me smile! =)
8:34 AM
Friday, June 6, 2008
He's just the kind of man You hear about Who leaves his family For an easy out They never saw the signs He never said a word He couldn't take another day
Carry me to the shoreline Bury me in the sand Walk me across the water And maybe you'll understand
Once the stone You're crawling under Is lifted off your shoulders Once the cloud that's raining Over your head disappears The noise that you'll hear Is the crashing down of hollow years
She's not the kind of girl You hear about She'll never want another She'll never be without She'll give you all the signs She'll tell you everything Then turn around and walk away
Carry me to the shoreline Bury me in the sand Walk me across the water And maybe you'll understand
Once the stone You're crawling under Is lifted off your shoulders Once the cloud that's raining Over your head disappears The noise that you'll hear Is the crashing down of hollow years
Carry me to the shoreline Bury me in the sand Walk me across the water And maybe you'll understand
Once the stone You're crawling under Is lifted off your shoulders Once the cloud that's raining Over your head disappears The noise that you'll hear Is the crashing down of hollow years
Once the stone You're crawling under... The noise that you'll hear Is the crashing down of hollow years
go figure =)
more things adding on to my mind. but oh wells, that's just life aint it? one thing adding on after another =)
for you =) sleeping time tonight will be taken by thinking time =) dreaming abt the issues at hand =))
love you! totally =)
7:17 AM
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
many things happened today, hm let's decide whether its a good day or bad day.
thou needs some nutrients. sth is wrong with me. hmm. wonder what. but den again this doesnt matter too, so no elaboration.
did some work today, managed 2 topics and 1 chem question. i think im getting on track here. but again, no one needs to know too, so haha too bad.
had band prac today, managed to do quite a bit of stuff tho the batch was quite erm dead, dunno why. so nth much to say as well.
went out with kenneth to help him choose scores for his auds. private date, no one needs to know too. and im not telling you all what happened.
is today a good day or a bad day? go figure =)
for you =)
7:42 AM
Monday, June 2, 2008
honestly, i don't really know what's going on with me these few days. i mean, okay im happy with the rate im progressing wif my studies, but that's abt it. im not quite sure what's happening, but surely there's sth brewing in me and around me. and from what i can sense, it's not really sth good.
recently i can sense a building up of frustration in me. i've been trying my best to quell it, or i would have already been screaming at people. anger management might be one of my forte, but that does not mean that i will never blow up.
the weird part of this is i don't know what is bothering me. i just can't pinpoint it to something. it feels as if it's everything. sometimes i have half a mind to shout at someone who's doing sth minimally wrong. but im lucky the other side of me says a strong no and to keep a calm composure. heh right now as im typing this i feel quite frustrated actually, and im still trying to find out what the hell it is.
i dunno la, sometimes i feel as if im not into things which i ought to be in. or i feel that i should at least be kept in the light and not left in the dark about. i mean if it's confidential, or you're not comfortable saying it, im okay with it. but if it concerns people i know and i have a responsibility over them, i would want to be involved in it. maybe i'm being oversensitive and being an ass, but i believe i deserve to have a right to know certain things that directly involve me. or those under my charge.
nothing like this happened last year, and i don't want it to happen now. oh wells time to tweak the way i do things. seems like sec 4 and J1 is totally different, yet again.
new day new discovery. what's on tomorrow?
for you =) only you <3!
8:53 AM
Sunday, June 1, 2008
3.5 topics today, way of the 5 mark, but wellls i knew 5 was impossible anw. but yeah it put me a little back on track coz i've been lagging real bad the last few days so yep im fine with it and shall attempt to maintain such a standard from now on. whether or not i do well for ct's isnt dependent on how much i study now but how well i can do that day, but if i dun study now there's no way i can do well that day.practice aint = perfect but no practice = never perfect.
i think at the end of the day, again what matters is that you know how much u prepared, even if the results dun go along wif the amount of preparation, but certainly if you've prepared, the pain wouldn't be so bad. that is, if you take it in the right mindset and not go sobwail over the fact that u prepared but failed.
failures are sth difficult to accept, i know. we're too used to the smell of success, we're trained to be successful, but we were never trained to deal with failures. the only things we do if a failure should ever hit us is to sit there and stone, wondering why it must happen to us, or go crying to people, or pretend it never happened, or blame the 1001 people on ur failure but never urself. we never learnt the ability to pick ourselves up from the failure, find out the root of the problem, get over the emotional stage fast and be back on our feet, ready to go again and again. to keep on trying, persevering until we achieve a victory. and even if the victory never arrives, we don't despair, for at least we know we tried our very best and gave in our all to climb up to the top.
sacrifices along the way are also inevitable. but you don't make sacrifices for nothing. someone is only willing to sacrifice if he knows what he sacrifices would be put to good use in his endeavors. they are painful, but it would eventually turn sweeter than the sweetest honey.
i actually wonder why im saying all these things as i type. perhaps in the past, i never accepted failure, maybe i didnt even care, and i never wanted to sacrifice something of my own, for there was nothing that i wanted to sacrifice for. nothing to me was worth sacrificing for. and now after 16years, there are some things i regret not giving my best for, some things i regret not picking myself up again for, somethings i didnt sacrifice and simply let it pass. there were lots and lots of opportunities that i wasted, even when they were dangling right in front of my face. just there.
but they have all passed, no point turning back again. sighz, but i'll grab every opportunity/chance/everthing that comes by from now on, unless there's someone that deserves it more =) well at least i didnt let go of the biggestttt thing in my life =) glad that i caught and kept it safe =) guess what/who it is =)
and okay i shall go sleep now for tmw is a bz day again =) i like being overworked xD